Ball Jokes.

I was getting my balls sucked by a Sainsbury's checkout girl last night. Unfortunately she started to gag when she swallowed a pube.

She didn't find it at all amusing that instead of assisting her I just said "unexpected item in the bagging area."

What have a Christmas tree and an impotent man got in common?
They both have balls for decoration.

Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn licking his balls.
So one guy says to the other, "Man, I sure wish I could do that".
The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"


Some people say it's sick and perverted to be a flasher.
I think it shows a lot of balls.

Songs with the the word Ball in - About Balls

Ok, so i'm often asked.. name a song with the word ball or balls in....and you know what i say......i say:

Great balls of fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
Shiny Disco Balls - The Generator
Pin-ball wizard - Paul Simon
What’s the story Ball-y morry
Chocalate Salty Balls - Chef
Big Balls - AC/DC
Got You By the Balls - AC/DC
Ballbreaker - AC-DC
Ball and chain - Janis Joplin
Take me out to the ball game - Gene Kelly
Ball and Biscuit - White Stripes
Crystal Ball - Keane
Who'll take the ball from Maggi Thatcher
She's on the Ball - Ray Charles



Also:

Anything by Ball-et for my valentine
Anything by Michael Ball

To be honest there is a lot more here

http://www.torontomike.com/2009/06/ball_songs.html

balls park vs ballpark vs ball park..........what's your favourite?

one is a cricket ground in hertfordshire http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balls_Park

one does online invoicing
http://www.getballpark.com/

one is where you play baseball
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_park

one is rough estimate of a figure
http://www.blurtit.com/q179020.html

But which is your favourite ball park?

Mine is the company specialising in online invoicing.....go ball park.

Ball Poetry - Poems about Balls: By Phillip Larkin

Balls - By P Larkin

They fuck you up, your different balls
they mean not mean to but they do
they fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you

but they were fked up in their turn
by balls in old style hats and coats
who half the time were soppy stern
and half at one anothers throats

Man hands on balls to Man
We get more than you could fit on a costal shelf
so get a ball while you can
and don't be mean to balls yourself.

By Phil Larkin

A ferret in a ball....brilliant

Interview with Tony Blair

So exlusive to this blog we've managed to get an exclusive interview with former british prime minister Tony Blair.


J:Good morning Mr Blair.
TB: Good morning, and may i say that i am massive fan of your website.
J: Thanks Tony, If i can call you that.
TB:Sure
J: Thanks, So Tony when did you first become interested in Balls? Was it something that came to you later in life or has it been a life long obsession.
TB: Execellent question. I think i've always been aware that balls existed but never really thought of them as anything special. That was until one day at Camp David Mrs Bush suggested I take a look at George's balls. Obviously it was an extremely exciting occasion....i followed George upto his ballroom where he showed me where he kept his impressive array of balls. He had hundreds off balls. Meatballs, tennis balls, a particularly fine lemon baller, a manuiequine of Ed Balls, Cannon Balls,Golf Balls, Bowling Balls,Dodgeball (DVD- collectors edition) .
J: what's your favourite ball and why
TB: Well, i've got quiet a collection, but I would have to say my favourite are Fish balls. There is something very eternal about letting a fish ball roll around your tongue.
J: Agreed, so what's the favourite ball you own.
TB: Easy that's a Dunlop Pro 3 squash ball 2007 vintage
J: And what would you say to say someone whose thinking of taking up ball collecting?
TB: Well, it's a great fun, a great way to meet people, also while balls can cost upto millions and are traded on some of the leading exchanges in the world you can start your collection for next to nothing.

J: Thanks Tony
TB: Any time

Ball-room dancing

Ball Story

A ball based game that's well.....balls

http://www.mindjolt.com/games/ball-story

A word that sounds like balls

Appalls

A bad joke

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds.

The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds.

All the nurses and even the doctor didn’t know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.

The head nurse replied, ”We don’t know what to do with this baby.”

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, “You should put him into a mental institution.”

”Why?’ asked the head nurse.

“Well,” replied the chief surgeon, “take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts.”

This isn't funny.

This picture is the dog's bollocks.....

Paul Smith Ball

Cricket Balls